Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
