If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
