just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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