I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
two words: eviction party
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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