Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I will pee on everything he values.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
whose parrot is this?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
