Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
