pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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