I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
