was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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