get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
