Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
