I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
