Dual....:-)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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