I think I died a long time ago.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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