i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
