Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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