It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
