you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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