saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We just shotgunned beers for America
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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