You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I will be naked everywhere
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
