My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
