We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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