Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
