Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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