I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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