Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
