what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
