even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
