I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
