thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
