I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
