Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
