Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
