All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
