Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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