My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
