Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize