I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
