Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
