Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
