So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
