Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
