I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
