Screwed.edu
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
