I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize