Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
