I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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