Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
