he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
third nipple confirmed
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
