So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
