Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
