You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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