The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
ttyl tear gas
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
