Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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