So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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