do herpes really smell.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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