were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
