Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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