i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
we should paint friendship bongs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
