That's when you crack a 10am beer
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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