I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
