I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
