So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
