do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
