my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
True strength comes from lack of pants
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
