Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
