Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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