On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize