i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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